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Why You Should Talk Behind Someone’s Back.
Editor’s Note: Sometimes gossip can be good. Normally, the practice is frowned upon because normally what’s being said isn’t positive. But when we hear good things about someone being saidwhen they aren’t around it should be our duty to let them know. Many people thrive on that type of positive affirmation and it often encourages more of the same. Take a look at this great story submitted by one of our readers and let us know what you think on the comment section below the article.
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Talking behind someone’s back is considered rude and mean.
People say nasty things! Gossip, even slander. All kinds of criticism from looks to work habits to personality.
The other day at lunch I was part of a whole group of colleagues, and we were talking behind our boss’s back. She’s the new principal of our middle school. It’s her first year as our boss, though she was “one of us” for some years. Pretty awkward position! And we had quite a lot to say.
We talked about how kind she is to us. She hand writes notes to wish us happy holidays, or to thank us for jobs well done. She checks on us when she knows we’re facing difficulties outside of school with our health or with our families. We talked about the good role model she is for the young women in our building. The fair but firm way she treats students and parents.
All this as she is replacing another well-respected boss. His shoes were hard to fill, and we talked about the fine job she’s doing.
I thought about that after lunch was finished and we had gone our separate ways. Sometimes we have the good fortune to be part of another kind of “talking behind their backs.” All too often, when we talk NICE behind someone’s back, they never know about it!
I sent her a quick email to report the conversation. She replied saying how much she appreciated hearing about it, how it made a bright spot in a tough week of testing and a death in her family.
I’ve done the same after such chats about the wonderful custodian we all adore. We often talk about how lucky we are to have her, but she’s here after many of us are gone for the day. She was delighted to hear it when I told her that so many teachers are singing her praises.
When I overheard conversations about the retirement of our superintendent — an announcement that was met with sadness — I thought he should know how we felt. So I made sure he did.
I’m guessing a boss must be pleased to hear that his employees are sorry to hear he’s leaving and that they respected him and appreciated the job he’s done. Cards and emails are great, but maybe it’s just extra heartwarming to know that kind words are being said even “behind your back.”
I like to do the same for my students. Of course I give them my own compliments, but I love to let them know when other adults have noticed their good behavior and attitudes. I want them to know that we aren’t spending our lunch and meeting times complaining about them ALL the time! I want them to know that we often express our pleasure in working with this particular group of kids, and I want them to know why!
I beam when someone notices how my teenage grandchildren are turning into such fine young people. Then it’s absolutely necessary to let THEM know it too! I want them to know that people notice them, and that it matters when what they notice is good and praiseworthy.
I’ve known from the other side how much this can mean. I often lack confidence in my own abilities as a teacher, so it gave me quite a lift when a friend who works with families in the community mentioned that he has heard several times from parents how glad they are to have their kids in my class. It just feels more important somehow to have the words said by people who don’t know I’ll ever hear them — when they can be totally honest. Great to hear it. And great to share!
Sure, it’s pleasant when we can say nice things about other people. It feels good! And I think it’s a special compliment for people to know of the times when others are saying nice things even out of ear shot.
Watch for your next opportunity to be the reporter! Make sure to tell them about the nice things being said behind their backs! Because how will they know unless we tell them?
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6 Feel-Good Foods That Naturally Boost Your Mood
Editor’s Note:
Over the past few years we’ve identified that in addition to making the world a kinder, better place that our readership of Kindhearts like you also want to live longer and healthier lives. As such, we’ve gone on a recruiting mission to find great new writers who can give us ideas so that we can all “Live well. Be kind.”
Today is our first of many great ideas for living better. Enjoy!
6 Feel-Good Foods That Naturally Boost Your Mood
When we’re feeling down, we often turn to our friends for solace or look for an activity that can distract us from our worries. Our first instinct isn’t usually to turn to food — unless it’s to dig into a pint of ice cream for comfort— but eating the right diet can actually boost your mood and your happiness overall. Whether you’re stressed out and anxious or you just don’t have the energy or motivation to get through the day, picking the right foods can help keep you feeling relaxed and upbeat.
It might sound farfetched that food can so greatly affect your mood, but research shows that certain types of diets can have a significant effect on your happiness levels. One study from the Journal of Psychosomatic Research found that people who ate a typical Mediterranean diet filled with whole and unprocessed foods such as fruits and vegetables, nuts, legumes, and olive oil were much happier than those who ate a standard Western diet that included a lot of fast food, dessert, and soda.
Eating healthy foods can provide you with the nutrients your body needs to help fight off depression and keep your stress levels at bay. If you need a little boost in your mood, try eating one of these six feel-good foods that will have you smiling in no-time.
1. Dark Chocolate
As if you need another excuse to eat the sweet treat: dark chocolate has been found to fight off anxiety and depression. One study from the Journal of Proteome Research found that daily consumption of chocolate led to lower levels of stress hormones. Cocoa also contains antioxidants called polyphenols which can help fight against depression and other mental disorders.
Make sure you opt for chocolate with 70 percent cocoa or higher, and avoid kinds with added sugar, which can actually have the reverse effect.
2. Berries
Berries such as raspberries and strawberries contain a natural ingredient that closely resembles valproic acid, a chemical used in prescription mood-stabilizing drugs. One study from the Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine also found that daily consumption of goji berry juice increased people’s general feelings of wellbeing
3. Turkey
Turkey contains two important nutrients that help play a role in your mood: selenium and tryptophan. Research from the journal Biological Psychiatry found that subjects who received selenium supplements experienced a decrease in anxiety and elevated mood. Additionally, tryptophan is an amino acid that is responsible for synthesizing serotonin, the “feel-good” neurotransmitter. Increasing your intake of tryptophan results in higher levels of serotonin, which can not only improve your mood, but even your behavior.
4. Nuts
If you’re a fan of snacking throughout the day, start chowing down on some nuts. Like turkey, nuts can also help boost your serotonin levels, and it only takes one ounce of nuts such as walnuts, almonds, or hazelnuts to improve your happiness.
5. Fish
Fatty fish such as salmon, tuna, and sardines contain omega-3 fatty acids, an important mood-boosting nutrient. Research shows that increasing your intake of omega-3 fatty acids can help relieve symptoms of depression. One study from the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry even found that omega-3 fatty acids are just as effective at improving mood as an antidepressant.
6. Leafy Greens
Greens such as spinach, kale, broccoli, and other lettuce contain folic acid, an important B vitamin that plays a role in mood regulation, including the synthesis of neurotransmitters such as serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine. Research from the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry shows that increasing your intake of folate can help reduce depressive symptoms.
When in doubt, you’re always best sticking to whole, unprocessed foods that are rich in vitamins and minerals, but the above foods especially can help keep you calm and positive overall.
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14 Jul 2016
6 Feel-Good Foods That Naturally Boost Your Mood
Editor’s Note:
Over the past few years we’ve identified that in addition to making the world a kinder, better place that our readership of Kindhearts like you also want to live longer and healthier lives. As such, we’ve gone on a recruiting mission to find great new writers who can give us ideas so that we can all “Live well. Be kind.”
Today is our first of many great ideas for living better. Enjoy!
6 Feel-Good Foods That Naturally Boost Your Mood
When we’re feeling down, we often turn to our friends for solace or look for an activity that can distract us from our worries. Our first instinct isn’t usually to turn to food — unless it’s to dig into a pint of ice cream for comfort— but eating the right diet can actually boost your mood and your happiness overall. Whether you’re stressed out and anxious or you just don’t have the energy or motivation to get through the day, picking the right foods can help keep you feeling relaxed and upbeat.
It might sound farfetched that food can so greatly affect your mood, but research shows that certain types of diets can have a significant effect on your happiness levels. One study from the Journal of Psychosomatic Research found that people who ate a typical Mediterranean diet filled with whole and unprocessed foods such as fruits and vegetables, nuts, legumes, and olive oil were much happier than those who ate a standard Western diet that included a lot of fast food, dessert, and soda.
Eating healthy foods can provide you with the nutrients your body needs to help fight off depression and keep your stress levels at bay. If you need a little boost in your mood, try eating one of these six feel-good foods that will have you smiling in no-time.
1. Dark Chocolate
As if you need another excuse to eat the sweet treat: dark chocolate has been found to fight off anxiety and depression. One study from the Journal of Proteome Research found that daily consumption of chocolate led to lower levels of stress hormones. Cocoa also contains antioxidants called polyphenols which can help fight against depression and other mental disorders.
Make sure you opt for chocolate with 70 percent cocoa or higher, and avoid kinds with added sugar, which can actually have the reverse effect.
2. Berries
Berries such as raspberries and strawberries contain a natural ingredient that closely resembles valproic acid, a chemical used in prescription mood-stabilizing drugs. One study from the Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine also found that daily consumption of goji berry juice increased people’s general feelings of wellbeing
3. Turkey
Turkey contains two important nutrients that help play a role in your mood: selenium and tryptophan. Research from the journal Biological Psychiatry found that subjects who received selenium supplements experienced a decrease in anxiety and elevated mood. Additionally, tryptophan is an amino acid that is responsible for synthesizing serotonin, the “feel-good” neurotransmitter. Increasing your intake of tryptophan results in higher levels of serotonin, which can not only improve your mood, but even your behavior.
4. Nuts
If you’re a fan of snacking throughout the day, start chowing down on some nuts. Like turkey, nuts can also help boost your serotonin levels, and it only takes one ounce of nuts such as walnuts, almonds, or hazelnuts to improve your happiness.
5. Fish
Fatty fish such as salmon, tuna, and sardines contain omega-3 fatty acids, an important mood-boosting nutrient. Research shows that increasing your intake of omega-3 fatty acids can help relieve symptoms of depression. One study from the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry even found that omega-3 fatty acids are just as effective at improving mood as an antidepressant.
6. Leafy Greens
Greens such as spinach, kale, broccoli, and other lettuce contain folic acid, an important B vitamin that plays a role in mood regulation, including the synthesis of neurotransmitters such as serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine. Research from the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry shows that increasing your intake of folate can help reduce depressive symptoms.
When in doubt, you’re always best sticking to whole, unprocessed foods that are rich in vitamins and minerals, but the above foods especially can help keep you calm and positive overall.
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28 May 2015
“I’m Going to be The Best Dad”
Get ready to watch the most adorable video of 2015!
This wife loves to give her husband little pep talks and make him repeat all the beautiful things she says about him!
As if that wasn’t heart-warming enough, this certain pep talk has a surprise and hilarious ending!
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16 Comments
Randal
I think people care less that you have a ph.d and a nuke and some mone but care how much you care about them. If Eight tenths of all communication is bodily and visual then what we are trying to say grammatically isn’t enough.
27 Feb 2011 02:02 am
Randal
Once you label people competent and superior, then you can get to serving them like the happy slave in the Lord we can all be. No sarcasm.
27 Feb 2011 02:02 am
Randal
Few fish dare to fly in the air or walk on the land.
27 Feb 2011 02:02 am
Randal
Now that the tides out, let’s not make fun of anybody in the mud.
27 Feb 2011 02:02 am
Phil
There is a difference between incouragement and gossip.. Be careful..
27 Feb 2011 03:02 am
Carolyn
Edify others by speaking positive comments “behind their back.”
27 Feb 2011 02:02 pm
beverlyanderson
It really makes a GOOD DAY Better when we speak of good things about each other and overlook the little petty things we may observe in others.Thank You.
27 Feb 2011 02:02 pm
mabel bernardez
thanks… it’s just funny that most people find it easier to pass on criticism and judgment, stabbing peoples back, than spread ones goodness…may all those who read these article find a space in their hearts to spread kindness to everyone. Thank you & Godbless!
28 Feb 2011 07:02 am
Butch
I agree with Phil. Having a kind word to say is O.K., just as long as it is not followed up with a criticism that might cancel out the compliment. May what you say always be measured by what you might say to their face. In that instance, it’s not GOSSIP at all, but an expression of LOVE or RESPECT!
28 Feb 2011 06:02 pm
Ron Hogan
When one makes critism of others behind their backs, it is the same as
looking at one’s self in a mirror…and seeing the true talent. We
all could learn from this. Better to heap praise than to give critism.
28 Feb 2011 10:02 pm
manette acet
“whatever is worhy,honorable,and seemly,just,pure,kind and gracious,if there is anything worthy of praise,think on and give account of these things-fix your minds on them.”
Philippians 4:8
01 Mar 2011 07:03 pm
Dawn
I have made it a habit to tell people of how good a job that they are doing and that I am grateful to have them and their work is appreciative. Often make complements and lots of thank you’s for their job well done and how much they are important in what they do. Even to the ones that many don’t think that their job is important. All jobs are important. We all need encouragement in the duties that we carry out daily. Even if it is just to say “Thank You, you are doing a good job!” Appreciate your time and effort daily.
02 Mar 2011 05:03 pm
dominic
we are accountable to GOD for every word we utter, so may our words be more often good than bad!
31 Mar 2011 06:03 pm
roquesa
Gossips are worse than thieves because they steal another person’s dignity,honor, reputation and credibility which is impossible to restore. That is why we can’t pleased anyone.
But i hate my boss she is corrupt and unjust.
14 Apr 2011 02:04 pm
carina
we admit it or not,once in our life we do gossiping and talk behind someones’ back!right?but sometimes it depend our intentions…try to convert gossiping into good..like talking the good of others,kindness of other people,the good thing he/she done with us..coz it’s easy for us to noticed the wrongof other,coz in this cruel world,you’ve done 90 times good for others..and if you do 1 mistakes for them..they forget the 90 good..they only remember the 1 mistake you’ve done!!!why?
26 Jun 2011 05:06 am
Betsey
This info is the cat’s paamjas!
23 Aug 2011 06:08 am (@Twitter)